like any girl, i like to dress up and feel pretty..and yes i do enjoy attention, my problem with that is you can’t decide who’s attention you get. i know i’m not the ‘prettiest’ girl, nonetheless, i am surprised by the type and amount of attention or stares i receive. so to play it safe and try weed out the pervs and ‘tards by dressing down, dumbing down and being comfortably natural because the guy i want needs to be smart enough to be able to see past any make-up and frill in the first place.
as hard as i try to be neutral i still run into horrible predicaments.
i’ve always considered myself the oddball ugly duckling of the family although my brother’s wife (who looks a lot like me, weird) once told me i was the prettiest of the 3 girls, thanks for that and sorry princess jojo.(unfortunately, i have lots of requests for bro/sis role-play because i resemble them…it’s not just father daughter creeps… never ever ever will i accommodate either….you’re sick…get help, just not that kind)
i’ve had many guy “friends” who would quickly talk shit about me behind my back to other guys and about those guys to me because i wouldn’t date them and they didn’t want anyone else to, as if their friends wouldn’t betray them and tell me just to get a foot in the door
during my office working days i was constantly asked to have affairs, an HR nightmare, but it helped me to identify the behavior in my husband, his main mistress was a younger co worker…named jenny. i counseled them both after i left him, he was cheating on her too. might still be, i don’t care anymore, didn’t really then, just needed my alimony so i could move on
during my marriage, every “man” i was around. husbands family members (or their husbands), friends, co workers always gave me the creepy stare, i’d watch them out of the corner of my eye. i was the only girl his friends started to kiss “hello” and even made a few attempts on nights out. his best man wanted to hook up with my little sis on our wedding night in tahoe that he came to with his gf. i tried to tell her but he’s a good liar or she’s just that desperate to believe him. my father in law decide he’d be the first in the family to act on it. he would call me drunk at 3am on his weekly trips to cleveland to work and visit his mistress of 5 years (always the same time, i’d make my husband answer, that’s all he’d do about it besides complain….poor baby). then at his wife’s surprise 50th bday party he became bolder and was grabbing at me, kept trying to kiss me and telling me how much he loved me. at one point i ran off crying…everyone just stared, one of my sis in laws friends came to check on me. they still expected me to show up for family gatherings with him and i did to keep the peace. after awhile i quit even doing that and was put down for it, by them and my own family
my step father- during my wedding planning and a few glasses or bottles of wine i assume, he and a friend of his called me on three way and thought we’d discuss wedding plans (that i never wanted, my hubby wanted the party, it was a marriage of convenience since conception) and not to worry because my step dad would take care of anything i wanted, but would i consider having a mud bath there to wrestle in for their entertainment in lieu of payment. nice, no
so, to the guys that are appropriate for me, please don’t take my “coldness” personally, it’s been a necessity in my glamourous life. i’d never be able to do the work i do or change the influence if i couldn’t identify and handle the ugliness properly, i’ve had a lot of experience with it so it’s not exactly new territory. sometimes you have to be blunt, sometimes you have to silently ignore it and sometimes you have to lure them in and play along long enough to expose and expel it….or at least, make a safe escape