i’ll give it to you early since you put in such a sweet effort :) i’m sure i’ll be seeing the reverb for days to come – i appreciate the great following i’ve acquired, i hope i’m somewhat helpful if not, at least entertaining. please feel free to send suggestions – but know i have to keep the t&a to a limit – i don’t mind having fun with you guys but to say that that’s all i’m about or always like would be misleading. but it’s been given to me as something to understand – i’ve learned a lot along my journey and look forward to being able to clarify my message, i thank you all for your patience and open-mindedness to keep reading when it seems like i’m might be getting off subject. i’m working to bridge the gap so please let me know of any questions you have along the way. xxx – jen
last summer (2013) god gave me the scare again of having to go to work in the strip clubs, money was tight and i was worn out with working on cams – sometimes there’s a limit to the frustration of having to sit and carry the space doing and saying the same thing over and over. the temptation of the easy money and my relatively recent discovery of the sex education side of it all and how strip clubs are such a beginner training ground I didn’t have quite the negative outlook on the outdated and grimy clubs. plus the pole looks hella fun. In strip clubs the women use a certain dance style, almost a slow motion draw, so that man can observe how they move, the different parts of the body and how the women like to be touched/caressed. We are teaching you to save ourselves not to please you, we already know how to do that. Please start paying attention and perhaps ween off of the liquid courage….don’t be fooled, NO woman is turned on by a room full of overgrown toddlers.
before i began or even knew i’d be sent to cams god tried to tell me to strip. this was back in 2011. i was in great shape and dancing again but also having trouble even being in large yoga classes. i seemed too open and taking on too much of others energies. i would get dizzy in large crowds and lose feeling in my extremities and they began to buzz with excess electricity. i could only imagine what it would be like to be in a room full of men in the states of mind they’d have to be in to spend their lives in basically a secondary womb. one day he led me to a strip club to see what it was like – i’d only been to a male strip club back in my young days and it was just silly. i had no idea what the female clubs were like, i had an idea but wanted to prepare myself slowly. while i was waiting to turn into the parking lot i saw a man get out of his truck and go to his exterior side mirror to relieve his chest acne. i turned off my turn signal and headed far away. i’ve cleaned plenty of toilets and changed loads of diapers but i wasn’t prepared to deal with that sort of environment. a few months later god introduced cams, at that point it was more ideal. my yoga clients up to that point were one on one with men who wanted to hang out with me in tight clothes and it was hard to get them to focus on actually doing yoga. on cams i make the same hourly rate though the guys pay 5 times more, i get to work more securely. plus, the guys had to clean up their own messes lol. also, learning to read people’s energy across the net is good psychic work.
luckily i also escaped having to resort to stripping last summer but at the time wanted to prepare myself just in case. i hadn’t worn heels in about 5 years and stripper heels are no joke. i noticed that they are kind of like pointe shoes with a kick stand and really fun to dance in once you get used to using the different muscles (you’ll see me stumbling a lot in these vids. i look like a baby fawn trying to walk, but more awkward) they kind of turn your legs into a pendulum, its a different movement to adjust to. so i thought i’d phase into them with the first vid, the second is me trying to find my groove by just tracing my body and adjusting to moving more slowly and i had no idea how strippers moved and i hated their costumes so i tried to improvise and run some initial trials – i had/still have a ways to go. it was hard not to slip into a yoga practice, i was trying to think of ways to use my yoga routine into suitable exotic dancer poses and transitions. strippers have to slow movement down in order for men to study the body and it’s movements so adjusting to the style was new for me – i don’t consider myself a seductress – these vids are pretty embarrassing at times but whatever, you guys have seen it before lol. i love seeing the different shapes our bodies make, the feelings that patterns and movement emote…and i get a few laughs out of myself seeing my face and remembering what i was thinking or what awkward ‘mistake’ i was trying to play off haha
i wanted to document my progress so there are more to come in between more serious issues. i don’t mind sharing my journey, as silly as it gets, sometimes we are led to understand certain aspects for bigger reasons. some take longer to unfold than others. hopefully i’ll be able to stay out of the all night party scene – i’m not a drinker and can’t really stand being around them on a consistent basis. still, that pole is on my bucket list…prob the closest i’ll get to free flying.