kiss of death

in the recent months i’d met a guy from another state who travels to my area for work.  we’ve spent time together on his last couple of trips out here and things went well the first meeting and seemed a bit off on the second and third… he wasn’t kissing me. I kind of blew it off because there are some guys who i’ve been intimate with for the sake of the physicality but they must take my freedom of expression as signs that i’m more into them than they are into me and will restrict themselves, especially with something they consider so intimate, like kissing, is involved. the real sign is that these men aren’t comfortable enough to express themselves and i have to move on.

so i didn’t take it personally, just figured he was guarding himself. but after our last time together i asked him if he liked kissing. he said yes, so i asked why he wasnt kissing me. he got a funny smile on his face and said “do you really want to know why?” “of course” i said. so he goes on to say that guys aren’t supposed to kiss girls if they’ve had his cock in her mouth (no wonder it’s a “girlfriend” or mistress duty ;)), that they aren’t supposed to know what their cock tastes like from kissing her – for me, its a turn on to taste/smell myself on my man’s lips…and how many washes does it take to get cock out of the mouth? when is an ok time to return to kissing? ridiculous

he says his buddies will ask (after he tells them his blow job story) if he kissed her afterwards and to say “yes” would be emasculating… question, fags, is why is it more important to pleasure your buddies with a blow job story, rather than the woman you’re having sex with? this guy is also obsessed with having his ass played with at the same time defending that he is not gay, that its natural – no shit homophobe…as a woman when i think of pleasing a man and consider rimming him, gayness doesn’t pop into mind – i’ve done it with my better lovers and its natural but some like it and others don’t. but why do some “straight” men go straight to fearing being gay? why do they immediately fear the possibility of pleasure (or not) in order to maintain a status quo for those they aren’t sharing  intimacy with. why are they depriving themselves of branching away from the norm. why are they afraid of the answer, especially to something so silly? why are they afraid?

if i decide to spend time with this “gentleman” again (insanely doubtful) i guess blow jobs are off limits – if i have to choose, i’d rather the kissing.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s