be a seeker, not a sucker

here’s another example of a convo with a married man…not all the same – some are more focused on accessing their own innards rather than someone else – imagine that, wanting to live within your OWN bodies…
e-male: dude…
me: sup?
 youre one of the few people ive written to in a while with whom i have to think while replying.
Thank you
me: lol ihave no gender sometimes lol
that’s awesome – i’m giving training exercises even when i’m not teaching a yoga class ;)

e-male: same here…i feel like a woman, look like a man…and eats like one in between

 youre quick witted
me: hahaha – i eat like a pig or a bird – depends on the energetics going on

e-male: with word play…as a writer…i find that sense of humor very interesting

me: thank you :) i get a lot of practice talking with spriit
and me too :) people are so boring sometimes with reusing the same old stuff

e-male: aaah. same here.

 i do a lot of word play in my mother tongue
 english a little lesser
 my mother tongue is a palindrome – Malayalam
me: cool! i love studying language thogh i don’t get much practice with it – most spiritual transmissions revert to english at the moment but we play sometimes with others
that words has a great visual too – like gliding up and down hills

e-male: i dunno…in my experiences…ive never heard a language…i feel…see…but there is no conversations

its as though everyone silently understands…
me: yeah, it all starts with feeling (and why those who avoid feeling can’t access) – that’s why we practice with diff languages now – as an excercies to keep my emotional filters clear and on point
they say it another language and i use the emotions to lead me to the english word

e-male:does introducing a language change the dynamics of interactions?

me: not really – because emotion is the main connector – so if an arab wants to address me but uses his native tongue i will pull it in as english – but we also play with hearing a foreign word and doing it backwards – for that the audio connection is needed but can be sidestepped if you are good at catching visual signs
like if i see an english word that has a meaning in anoterh language – i may first see the english meaning and not understand until i notice it has another meaning in a diff alnguage
say a well known german was trying to give me clues to announce himself – they may use a tactic like this for example
e-male: for me…theyre speaking…but i dont hear anything…i just understand.
btw…ive seen a lot of people talk about spiritual stuff,…share posts and talk from their ass.
when you actual engage them in a conversation…it feels as deep as a pool made by the spit of a 4 year old.
You…feel like a ‘semnpai’
me: that’s is some great word painting lol – what’s a semnpai?
e-male: Its a Japanese word which means senior
like in a school…if youre from a higher class …youre a sempai
me: ah – yeah that fits – there’s a big group of us senpais
and lol, the “all love and lighters” ;) i went through that phase in my early yoga days – you have to bulk up and see the goodness before god will show you the ugly truth – otherwise people would flip out or their hearts would split in half/heart attack lol gotta build up that muscle first with the love train-ing ;)
e-male: for me…when i became a freemason at the age of 24…my life flipped over
me: that’s funny
what brought you into that
not haha funny – i have to take a pic of something

e-male: My godfather is a mason

i found it intriguing
 having spent a lot of time on my own…practically like an orphan…though i had my family…i was looking for older people who could be inspiring and guiding to an extent.
me: same here – i was too wise for my parents – i had a lot of “older people” friends
what does being a freemason entail?

e-male: today my dad says…i refused you cause i couldnt get you.

 not cause you were wrong.
 he feels bad about it though…i told him…im sure you did your best…tomorrow i wont get what my children might say…but if tell them…I dont really get where youre ideas are coming from…but id like to see it through your eyes. please help me understand.
me: that’s awesome :) how old are you?
e-male: i turn 33 in July
me: so about the freemasons – my grandpa owned a crude oil company when i was really young called G&G specialties – the logo was a G&G overlapped within an oil rig – it looked just like the masons logo and i thought it was my grandpas logo when i saw it for the first time later in life
e-male: haha
the Grand architect of the universe. was your grandpa a mason?
or the grand geometrician as we call it
me: 11350271_692137464265287_1229267554_n
e-male: thats the masonic regalia with the square and compass
me: idk – it wouldn’t have surprised me, but he was sort of a slug so i can’t imagine him committed to much – he had new money for a while but in that family i was just an accessory – we weren’t really spoken to about stuff that didn’t concern our immediate situation
e-male: how do you have it?
me: i took it off a car a few summers ago lol
my other grandpa was an engineer and had a compass that i used to play with all the time
i tired to find my grandpas old logo hoping maybe the company would be mentioned somewhere online but couldn’t find it – they used to keep a print framed in the living room
funny enough – after i started all the sex work my grandma came through and told me she was a stripper and thats why we didn’t talk about a lot of stuff – too much to hide

e-male: interesting

me: made sense though and i used to love playing dress up in her closet – especially all her flashy shoes but i couldn’t touch the clear plastic heels ;) lol now i have my own pair just cus they are fun to dance in :)
me: sweet – what are the rituals like? to me they are male voodoo practitioners ;)

e-male: thats the generic logo…thats the one of my craft ritual book…duh

its more like military
me: ahhhh
e-male: but based around a theme dating back to king solomon
me: like regiments or activites?

e-male: and how the temple was built..though figuratively…

 temple also refers to your mind.
me: yeah – the metaphors :)

e-male: master…warden…deacon….tylor…

 there are masonic bodies for women related to masons
 like Sisters of the Nile
 Order of the Eastern Star and so on
see the bottom list ;)

e-male: which one?

 btw,,,,im a big fan of the angel Samael
 though he isnt that popularly known
me: i just mean – i didn’t write them all up but to show how you can decipher the different “levels” or “positions/appoingtments” within certain orders – like a religious order or the ranks of a mason
why isn’t he popular?
i didn’t pay much attention in church or school lol
e-male: he is in the Talmud or Jewish lore
 He is left as the left hand of God
 when God sent the angel to wrestle Jacob,…it was Samael
 when he burnt down Sodom and was Samael
 a sepharim…with 12 wings…Samael is known as a wrath of God,…also the guy who does all the punishing part.
 people confuse him with the devil
me: haha – that makes sense – god is the devil

e-male: yeah

everything in the bible teaches you to be weak and unevolve.
its structured massacre of personality
me: people’s perception is just distorted or perverted
keep them controllable and self contained so they don’t have to do it for you

e-male: i always debate that

 we are all Gods in obscurity
me: either believe god is all powerful or isn’t – if he is there is no devil – if he’s not we are controlled by the devil

e-male:God and Devil are the same

me: yep

e-male: they’re us.

me: yep

e-male: So..yeah…Im a God :)

me: i had a vid that got deleted that talks about observing positive and negative energy with the same bias they would the positive and negative charge of a car battery
jonbenets favorite kanye song lol
e-male: there is a Buddhist monk
he said…accept good and evil the same way
was kanye west there in 1996 before jonbennet died?
me: wasn’t as popular but was alive

e-male: in all likelihood…he might have been better then than now

me: guess she wants me to hear this ;)
 aww we love kanye – he’s a mess but so am i ;p through the wire is still a favorite
e-male:  man…this is real rap. today its jut technical bells and whistles.
 eeerrrmm,…doesnt sound very appetizing
me: hash – put the ironic filter on it – the kids love the shock value – they are always trying to scare or gross me out, it keeps my tension in check

e-male: haha

 with you…i sometimes question myself when i hear your ideas
me: how so?

e-male: cause i feel ive been stuck in my idea world for too long without someone provoking it

 i question the basis of my own and see if ive long past the time to evolve
me: i see – i felt like that in relationships – people are so predictable and i was always put on the pedestal like i was the all knowing – i like to know that i’m with someone who will look out for me and if i’m getting stagnant or my soul is dwindling and raise me back up – only get what you give so i try to do unto others wink emoticon

e-male: ive found that problem in relationships where i feel like their daddy after a while. it gets boring.

me: yes and women are always turned in to mommies and guys run off to find a new “girlfriend” so they can have both
 rather than realizing woman is not just ONE thing
 fucking themselves over with their ignorance

e-male: strangely i feel the same

 like some security guard
me: haha – please go on

e-male: whose job is to protect, bring stability and all that jazz

 then get criticized for not being dramatic…Bollywood!
me: what do you feel is being ignored about men?
dramatic how?

e-male: but since im in a long distance relationship…im getting used to this space.

 Dramatic like in a bollywood movie.
me: like super expressive? or having concerns on certain matters?

e-male: be funny, romantic, but be good looking, good physique, yet serious and mature…

 like what the hell is that? Frankensteins monster?

 and what is their input into the relationship? the grace they endow on me by being there? lol
me: hhahahah – i know what you mean – women aren’t much diff from men in that regards- i had to start with the men to understand that
i have a lot to say in regards to that and addressing women’s attitudes – first i have to address their attitudes toward themselves and other women – i’ll get around to everything eventually

e-male: yeah….we should discuss this with some homework done. so that i can put it across better

me: there is a surge of people who have been silent – i’m one of them and i know what they are all frustrated with ;)

e-male: ive been the loud mouth being asked to shut up

 now im trying to go to sage mode
 too much Naruto’
me: yup – religion and “authority” – but then you find out those in authority have no idea what they are talking about

e-male: haha

 totally clueless
me: so you have to take the parent role and step up rather than letting the frantic children terrorize everyone else

e-male: im trying to be the sage

 as a cancerian,,im super emotional. id like to be able to supress it and not let it effect me
me: because it would pacify everyone else?

rather than letting the frantic children terrorize everyone else

e-male: yeah
i love this character,,,,based on the buddha for a more manga fighting atmosphere…
(Divine Skill: Wheel of Judgment: Zhen Chan traps all of his opponents in a vast area, and inflicts upon them all the attacks that they themselves have ever inflicted upon other people[3]. It has no effect on those who are kind and righteous.)
me: they are being affected by the same troubles – maybe don’t realize it so even if you suppress it won’t help them, just adds to reinforcing the pattern

e-male: i feel its not my job to hand hold and help people.

me: no its not
e-male: when they want to…they would
when they do…ill be there to tell them what i know
me: but also not hand hold them by holding back what you want to do or say just because you think it would “trigger” them – if it suits you then go for it
 let them handle their shit – they are adults
e-male: cause in a lot of cases
 i’ve taken a lot of backlash
 and heard…we know we need to…but let us do it when we feel comfortable doing it…seesh!
me: i know that scene – no need to push upon people – but you’re right, if they bring you into their focus that’s their choosing 

e-male: so now…ill try to be like the Buddha…you go to him if you need to

me: there aren’t too many people who feel “safe” in this world – i wish i could get that point out in other ways but starting with the obvious is one way to lead the thought train ;)

e-male: yeah…i feel scared only when im responsible for people. on my own…i dont fear anything.

me: same here – worry of a parent lol metaphors
 remember – you are a part of god too ;)
just like we can alter or get rid of certain aspects of our character – he can rid certain characters/characteristics from his aspects

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