09-01-07 was the day i got married (my in-laws anniversary was 09-11) i didn’t want wedding but my husband loved patriarchal ritual. i didn’t want a big ring, it got stuck in my hair and made me nervous in public places but my husband wanted a showpiece. i didn’t want a traditional dress but chose one my sister found that i thought was sweet. on the day of my wedding my favorite memory was driving up the mountain to tahoe (we didn’t take the long route up the mountain like i wanted) so i had my soon-to-be-husband and sister give me 5 mins of silence so i could have some “jenny time” to loudly play my favorite jam, “That Girl” by Stevie Wonder and brighten my day – the rest of it wasn’t so much about me. Even at the reception they kept blasting the football game and i’d have to ask for to be turned off. then someone would have it turned on again and i eventually had to tell the event planner to turn it on only if i tell her to. my sly stepdad was pretty annoyed, he was paying for it after all and didn’t get his mud fight then i took away the virtual one too.
If I had lived in the same area as my ex i don’t think we would have ever married and if we hadn’t moved so often I doubt we would have been together as long. For us it was more about us not wanting to have a long distance relationship. I was ready to leave my job at the time we met and looking for other options, had my heart broken then found my husband, easy sell. I gave up a $50K career at age 25 to move around the country building his career, it left me with a very transient resume so we agreed i deserved some equity assurance and got married with intentions of trying but realistic expectations that it may not. On my wedding day my hair and makeup lady commented that she’d never seen such calm bride. my event planner at the hyatt, who had just moved there from Austin said the same when she brought me to the ceremony site. I remember thinking in my head “when it doesn’t work out we’ll just get divorced” no big deal really. Marriage and true love don’t happen with paper contracts, love follows natural laws
It’s all greek to me :)