Human Restraint


Oxygen is essential for pleasure. The expansion of cells with oxygen allows sensation. Whenever you can usher in oxygen to closed off spaces and circuits you can experience physical sensation and pleasure. When and where we are tense will mute sensation and interrupt the flow of energy. Pleasure is not as easy to achieve with mere mental focus and sometimes is even hindered by it.

Using props is essential for many yoga practitioners to safely open up tense and tight spaces in order to fully expand and integrate energetic lines within the body. Using too much force or trying to compensate for certain movements with shortcuts only leads to “injury” and bypassing the blocks creates gaps in the energetic lines and can lead to a type of energetic amputation.

In yoga, once you practice for a while, you become able to feel the threads of larger energy channels and with more attention to subtle body work you can branch out into more intricate and, therefore, fuller and more embodied sensation.

I use straps and sandbags in my yoga practice to help achieve this and sex is yoga for me so I like to use restraints in that practice time as well. It’s not always necessary but helpful in achieving certain sensations and helping my partner learn my lines. The physical benefit for me is the expansion I get by being able to relax the inner body due to the tension created in concentration in the lateral muscles and limbs.

For instance:I like to strap my ankles together in a missionary, prone or prostrated position. In missionary this can also be achieved by the partner holding my legs in and somewhat by hooking the ankles but that is more taxing than rewarding. In prostrate positions a similar effect can be achieved if the partner restrains the sides of my legs with theirs while I push outward with my thighs (points are groin, each knee and connection point of ankles). Being able to redirect the energy from concentrating and squeezing the inner muscles to the sensation of “spread eagel-ing” my legs apart and firing up my leg and side muscles allows more sensation not only into the leg and side area but also the relaxed muscles of the abdominal and groin. So rather than pulling inward, in order to pull the energy from myself, while also contracting my body inward, perhaps around my partner or just bearing down in attempt to increase sensation, I can push my legs outward, bringing all tension to the outer line of the legs and relax the inner legs and groin so that they become flooded with the reverberating energy created from the opposing tension when orgasm is released. This allows energy to “come” through me rather than me having to pull inwards to “create” it. If tension is relaxed in the mid section and focused on the outer lines then once orgasm hits it’s like it’s able to move freely through the interior, almost like an quantum vacuum that floods the entire nervous system.

I also like to have my wrists strapped together behind my back to achieve the same sort of flooding sensation in the chest and torso by using the constraining energy to push outward through my elbows (points are base of head, each elbow and connection point of wrists). The space in between becomes a diamond-like vortex. The opposite is relatable to women grabbing the sheets and clenching. But being able to push outwards, instead of clenching to obtain and muting the charge from orgasm, the diamond area  becomes open and spacious. Imagine a ping pong ball going back and forth up and down the machine and that tension is like a block that discourages and interrupts the flow. This is virtually the same as having my partner hold your wrists together while they are behind me and a bonus if they use the tension between our body distance to extend my arms and use them as reigns to help open my shoulder girdle. But that takes some body knowledge and sensitivity to energetics in order to do it well and I’ve noticed (not just through sex) that many people aren’t there yet. I’ve been through some awkward encounters but the main point is to try and to learn so open mindedness and communication are big factors.

Tying the limbs to bedposts or any full limb extension is helpful for bringing sensation to the full body as well but in a different way because it usually ends up being that you have to pull inward, not a total loss but a different effect and great in helping to learn how to use tension to your benefit.

Humans weren’t always in need of external props, though walls, floors, beds, couches and such all have usefulness too. Once two people understand their bodies well enough to accommodate another the can learn the sexual martial arts holds that will reduce the necessity for props and work more in tandem. Until then there’s nothing wrong with using assistance to achieve pleasure. I’m not a niche type of person, I like to think I’m a little more broad than a label so it’s not that, to me, S & M is anything more an over exaggeration that turns into product you can sell as a lifestyle. I think that, like any religion, there is some truth but you need to distinguish what about it is relevant or helpful and it can sometimes be like finding the needle in a haystack.