Thought I’d put these old church rags to some actual good use.
I don’t go into great detail about my god encounter on this site. Although this work was curated because God asked it of me ,I find it’s confusing enough as it is for most people to try to comprehend what I’m doing without throwing the full aspect of Holy work into the mix. But I want to show my life behind the perceptions. When I had the god encounter about 5 1/2 years ago he told me I would lose everything. I was pretty well set up at the time but surely everything began to fall apart. I lost a lot of friends and family who couldn’t understand what I was going through. I lost the place I was living, I lost the car I had, I lost $15K I had saved up to pay off the car I ended up losing, I went through a lot of medical issues while releasing old patterns. God told me he would give me back all that I had lost and he has over and over. He’d told me that there would be people to help me and at the time I’d only been in Austin a year and really didn’t have any close ties so at the time it seemed like an impossibility, but sometimes impossibly is what we need to face in order to experience miracles.
I’m not saying that the material things are oh so miraculous, there has been so much more that I have and will cover in my other forums but this world gives a lot more value to what it can “see” than what it can feel so in keeping with my promise to be an example I have to include the miracles that others may more easily identify as valuable.
I made a deal wth God that I would retire from the rat race and just do what makes me feel good and only things I truly believe in. He said that if i do that then he would take care of the finances and opportunity. The causes that were important to me, like giving young girls a more comfortable world to develop into, or helping people realize what real love and sensuality is were the driving force for creativity and inspiration. This has been a practice of faith and living in a new way. Although it has taken me down avenues I never imagined I’d need or want to venture, it has given me power to say no to things I don’t feel right about and understand how these situations gradually manifested over aeons of generations instead of letting them have a hidden power over me. But I’ve also gotten to see how to untangle them and though it makes perfect sense to me, it also makes perfect sense that it looks messy in moments of shifting.
So before I go off on my playful vids I wanted to make one in remembrance and gratitude of how things were for me not too long ago. I feel that we are all a part of the Nature I depend on to move and deliver me and in giving back I’m helping the “me” in those situations and committing that gratitude to action, just as Nature does for me. It’s why I started the blog in an attempt to help men like those who made me afraid of them as a child, or the ones just steps behind in the pattern and especially the ones who feel lost or alone in the patriarchal shadow. All of the “sex work” began as a way to help women but through what god shows me I’ve found compassion and a profound sadness (yet hopefulness) for the chokehold men have also been facing on the flip side. Realizing that communication and truth is the way to help clear up the unnecessary distortion and commercial degregadation is what drives me to be so blatant and open…I like a challenge so shock value from nudity is too easy a target for me lol this is about facing uncomfortable issues in order to release unneeded discomfort that makes the issues so uncomfortable…whether it be sex or god.
Not surprisingly I totaled my car the day after I filmed this…destruction is not always a negative, wait for the reverb cus it just might be something more amazing than what you thought you lost ;)
PS. there was a point after losing everything that god wouldn’t allow me to help men. If a homeless man approached me I was to say “women and children first” because at the time I was living on are change myself but still wanted to help others in my position. I’m allowed to give men food but no more money or cigs. And as far as vets go…I have some change to ask of those contemplating becoming a vet – don’t go to war, do not shoot anyone on my behalf. Otherwise, I’ll have no change to give you back when you return to the street corners so you might want to think a little harder about your future if not ours. WAR IS OVER IF YOU WANT IT :)